Connected Relationships

What is in your 69%?

69% of what bothers you about another person will not change
- The Gottman Institute

The takeaway: stop trying to fix the 69%

...but you have to know what is in that 69%!

Enter the Intellect Scan, a powerful tool to see each other.

We’ll walk you through the results in 3 sessions…looking at HIS intellectual diversity, HER intellectual diversity, and YOUR relationship’s intellectual diversity.

With this information, you will better assess what’s in the 69%.

The technology measures 13 cognitive, motivational, and behavioral traits and produces a 3D image of your intellectual diversity

Is this therapy?

Life can get rough, and counseling is one option to support us in our difficult moments. Counselors are trained to look for certain behaviors in people and see how they might be creating tension in relationships. They give us skills to navigate emotions and overcome trauma. They play a vital role in deepening connection.

The Intellect Scan is a diagnostic tool, much like the medical imaging doctors use to treat sick patients. It was built to connect your intellects. When you explore each other's diversity, you see why the rough patches occur. And the two of you can decide what to do about it.

Common Benefits

When you examine intellectual diversity within the family...

For Couples

Emotional Safety

Put safety at the core of this important relationship

Emotional Literacy

Emotions are a language. A relationship without emotional literacy is like dancing to a song without a beat.

Taking Perspective

Deeper listening and attuned responses ensure both people feel heard and seen

Connection Strategies

Leveraging common traits and connecting across differences

For Parents

Emotional Safety

Creating emotional safety around children is critically important so they feel comfortable exploring who they are

Development

Recognizing your teenager's development and meeting them where they are

Rich Conversations

As kids become adults, parents crave connection via conversational intimacy

Professional Decisions

Consider how your child could fit into the workplace and support them as they make decisions related to education and employment

Trusted Advisor

Learn how you can show up and gain the trust of your children as they enter adulthood

Marriage

Eventually your child will transition their primary relationship from you to a spouse. You can help make it a successful event in their life

What if I feel awkward about this stuff?

This is something we've struggled with over the years. Do we really need technology to get to know people and be in relationship? Of course not.

Every technology advancement creates pushback. Three generations ago, companies clinged to their mainframe computers as PC's decentralized computing. Two generations ago, the Internet was known as the World Wide Web and seemed one part scary and one part overwhelming. One generation ago, parents wrestled with their children's use of smartphones and gaming consoles to stay connected to their friends. And today, AI brings another round of pushback.

As neuroscience shows us the relational power of the human brain, technology will help us in ways that we cannot even imagine. This technology has already shown how we misjudged the people closest to us. We've already experienced how scanning helps people navigate a messy dating world to form new relationships with deeper roots. We've also seen how it helps couples have conversations they never have had before.

So do I scan someone before going on our first date?

Of course not! We still get to know others through conversation. We listen to their stories, feel their energy, and enjoy their quirks.

Maybe human intellect will be so prevalent in the future that it becomes part of our basic profile...like age, height, weight, hair color, and hobbies. But for now, perhaps the best way we have found to use this in new relationships is hearing the other person's personality. With the scan, you can hear the other person express their basic desire in everything they say and do. And once you do, then their stories come alive with so much more color and depth. In time, if a relationship develops, then the scan can be used to deeply understand each other's nuances. Every person is essentially unique...no one else in the world has the same measurements on all 13 traits + their life experiences.

What if I had bad experiences in the past?

We've learned how harmful it will be if you weaponize this information. Using the scan to attack another person's natural traits or to defend yourself won't serve the relationship. It's emotionally unsafe and will blow up the relationship. For us, it is about seeing another person, admiring them, and loving them deeply.

What will the Intellect Scan show us?

It's likely you have read books on relationships and parenting. There is lots of good information out there, but most books are too theoretical and behaviorally-based. The resources that come with the scan's 3D image will speak directly into to your intellectual diversity. This helps us invest in those closest to us even more.

Connection Blocker: Resentment

Misinterpretations about a person's behavior creates frustration for both of you. Neuroscience is revealing how the mind's thinking and emotions shape an individual's behavior. Without this, everyone gets stuck in resentment, which can be hard no matter how much you love one another.

Connection Blocker: Miscommunication

The scan reveals the filter through which an individual communicates. This enables you to more clearly hear their perspective and recognize where you talk past one another.

Connection Blocker: Emotionally Unsafe

The scan enables us to see how our loved ones are feeling the highs and lows of daily life. When you have a sense of what the other person is feeling inside, you can love them deeply despite grumpiness that comes from stress.

In the Workplace

Relationships are anchored in the home, but most of us spend more time in the workplace. The scan enables us to see how people plug into the working world. When people are in their natural position, they are engaged in their professional pursuits, which often makes for a happier home.